Oh, well, not actually no reasons, but small things keep building up, just like many single little rocks tacking on each other and become a big pile of stones. And you have to carry that, on your shoulder, alone.
Things started since I broke up with a 'so-called' bf, the one that I've never, ever, had a serious feeling with. He didn't think so, and it has become a game for me, and one day, he paused the game, and ... I ended the game. Well, I did not regret ending the game, because I wasn't enjoying the whole thing at all, and sometimes wonder why I was in that game in the first place, and now ended it in a bitter way. (Freedom for both? Hand up if you think so.)
Okay, now I'm all by myself, feeling like I'm myself again. By that, I meant I will be doing everything alone, from small to heavy work, every troubles will be shared with no one but myself, I feel like I gain independence again, but that also means I'm more stressed again.
IELTS - the requirement for graduate program and PR, I got 7.0 overall, but only 6.5 for speaking, a lack of 0.5, which then excludes me from the eligible criteria to apply for job and PR. I want to take the test again, but the cost and the risk of taking it is a bit too high for me at the moment, not to mention, no time.
Invisalign - impossible, have to change to traditional braces, and again ... financial difficulty.
Driving licence - not possible yet, it involves time and money, of course.
Self-discipline - was good for the couple of weeks of the semester, now obsessing with Scrabbles and somehow it distracts me from the work I'm committing in.
Renting - not to mention, a big burden on my shoulder.
What's bothering me the most? - Future, full of uncertainty.
I know, I gonna have the most lonely 21st b'day ever, and it's coming soon!
Cheers,
Ha.
