Hi,
It's still the same complaint as usual: work, stress and meaningless life(style).
Days passing by and I feel like I am growing older and I am wasting my youth. Youth means to me creativity, repulsion, adventurousness, daring, full of energy, not being afraid of failing, trial, etc ...
I don't feel any of those above, I feel bored, I feel like my job is a dead-end one (not actually but this is what I feel), I feel like I am living a life without a purpose, without passion, and without any motivation.
I want an escape, I want a change, I want a new fresh air, I want new challenges, new experience, new environment, new things ...
Sounds deperate, yes, it is ... it very is ...
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Desperate, suffocated, stressed
Nearly 2 months into my full-time working life, and I realised I do not like it, any second of it. I don't know whether I had made a wrong decision about my career, or simply the working place sucks, or both, or it is just the starting point that is tough and discouraging.
Well, to be fair, I was luckier than bunches of finance students who are now not eligible for a permanent visa. So that wasn't a bad choice for a ticket to stay in Australia. This is my confession after 2 months of working full-time: I do not like the place I am currently working at, it is a small accounting practice with only 2 staffs, including me, and 2 bosses. It is a condemned environment that has very limited sociality, I don't get interact with many people, almost none. The girl staff who is currently sitting on my left is from China, and she was very rude to me in my first weeks at the office, since then she has given me a very bad impression of her and I seldom talk to her even though we are literally 1 metre away from each other and we are the only staffs in the office.
This kind of working life is far different from what I had imagined it to be when I was still a Uni student. I dreamt of working in a large corporate firm, dress in office suit, look professional and elegant, and get a lot of training and interactions with others (well you know, a dream that everyone has). I was warned that real life is tough, but this is just too different and far less expected. I am kind of getting used to the work at the office now, no more struggling and making less mistake. Things are moving faster, and works don't have to keep piling up like before.
My first month was so stressful. I started right the 3rd quarter of the financial year ends, and it means that mountains of works were already there waiting for me. My hair kept falling out during that time because of the stress. Now it's pimples' turn because I do not have time to shop and cook more veggies dishes. I cook more pasta nowadays, sound like I am converting to an Italian already. One week to me now seems like forever, and weekend flies by like 1 second. I murmur in my head every Sunday that "Shit, it's Monday again tomorrow", you know what it means, it is the start of a new forever era. The only thing that keeps me going to work in the morning is the pay cheque, and the motivation of getting 1 year experience to get a PR.
I have been in Perth for more than 4 years now, and I think I already have enough of the city. I want to pack my luggage and move to somewhere else, either it's Melbourne/Sydney, or some exotic country on earth so that I can restart my life again. I need a break, a get away, ... a new life. Sounds bad for a 2months-experienced worker huh? But working in the field and the place I don't like is a real pain in the arse. My passion is to work in a creative industry, a job that requires you to create something new, new ideas are encouraged, and not just follow and comply with all the rules and regulations and the same practice/exercise doing over and over again.
I know there will be more challenges in accounting field to come, but I just don't feel the excitement to work. In other words, my heart is not in the job. Waking up every morning is a real torture for me, and only me can understand that. Other people are like: oh, you have a job, good for you, Accountant! wow, awesome...My parents are like : I do not have to worry about you anymore, you have a stable job and that's really good. And I was like : What the f*** I am doing with my life, why ...? I don't want to settle yet, I still want to change this situation. But first, experience is what I need to achieve my initial purpose - PR - and hopefully I'll save enough and be brave enough for a big move ...
P/S: To Ha in 3 years time, if you are feeling happy and successful, you know that hard-work and diligence pays off.
Good things will come for those who wait.
And damn! rent increases again, I am struggling to pay rent and food with my current pay already, let alone saving.
Well, to be fair, I was luckier than bunches of finance students who are now not eligible for a permanent visa. So that wasn't a bad choice for a ticket to stay in Australia. This is my confession after 2 months of working full-time: I do not like the place I am currently working at, it is a small accounting practice with only 2 staffs, including me, and 2 bosses. It is a condemned environment that has very limited sociality, I don't get interact with many people, almost none. The girl staff who is currently sitting on my left is from China, and she was very rude to me in my first weeks at the office, since then she has given me a very bad impression of her and I seldom talk to her even though we are literally 1 metre away from each other and we are the only staffs in the office.
This kind of working life is far different from what I had imagined it to be when I was still a Uni student. I dreamt of working in a large corporate firm, dress in office suit, look professional and elegant, and get a lot of training and interactions with others (well you know, a dream that everyone has). I was warned that real life is tough, but this is just too different and far less expected. I am kind of getting used to the work at the office now, no more struggling and making less mistake. Things are moving faster, and works don't have to keep piling up like before.
My first month was so stressful. I started right the 3rd quarter of the financial year ends, and it means that mountains of works were already there waiting for me. My hair kept falling out during that time because of the stress. Now it's pimples' turn because I do not have time to shop and cook more veggies dishes. I cook more pasta nowadays, sound like I am converting to an Italian already. One week to me now seems like forever, and weekend flies by like 1 second. I murmur in my head every Sunday that "Shit, it's Monday again tomorrow", you know what it means, it is the start of a new forever era. The only thing that keeps me going to work in the morning is the pay cheque, and the motivation of getting 1 year experience to get a PR.
I have been in Perth for more than 4 years now, and I think I already have enough of the city. I want to pack my luggage and move to somewhere else, either it's Melbourne/Sydney, or some exotic country on earth so that I can restart my life again. I need a break, a get away, ... a new life. Sounds bad for a 2months-experienced worker huh? But working in the field and the place I don't like is a real pain in the arse. My passion is to work in a creative industry, a job that requires you to create something new, new ideas are encouraged, and not just follow and comply with all the rules and regulations and the same practice/exercise doing over and over again.
I know there will be more challenges in accounting field to come, but I just don't feel the excitement to work. In other words, my heart is not in the job. Waking up every morning is a real torture for me, and only me can understand that. Other people are like: oh, you have a job, good for you, Accountant! wow, awesome...My parents are like : I do not have to worry about you anymore, you have a stable job and that's really good. And I was like : What the f*** I am doing with my life, why ...? I don't want to settle yet, I still want to change this situation. But first, experience is what I need to achieve my initial purpose - PR - and hopefully I'll save enough and be brave enough for a big move ...
P/S: To Ha in 3 years time, if you are feeling happy and successful, you know that hard-work and diligence pays off.
Good things will come for those who wait.
And damn! rent increases again, I am struggling to pay rent and food with my current pay already, let alone saving.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Up and down
I received a job offer today, sooner than I expected a few months ago. I am quite pleased that I have passed the interview successfully, yet I am not quite happy with the pay that is being offered to me. It is a bit below the industry average. But I have decided that I'll take up the position anyway, because I need one year work experience for my permanent resident visa.
I checked Ielts results online today, the results are rather quite disappointing. The band which I always did well in the past 3 IELTS test have put me down. I scored 6.5 for Speaking, which I didn't see that was coming because I always got 7.5.
The writing band, however, was improved to the satisfactory 7.0, yet one band under 7.0 will let the whole thing down. This was the 4th time I took the IELTS test, wasting hundreds of dollars. I was a bit nervous in the speaking test room and didn't do the 2nd part of the test well... :(
So I guess I will have another go, taking into account all the experience I have accumulated.
So many things to do. I feel flooded.
Still waiting for my visa being granted, and I need to take a medical test somewhere in the near future. A NAATI test as well.
And the biggest thing for me in the next 2 weeks is to have oral surgery to remove my 2 wisdom teeth and 4 molar teeth.
... to get braces.
Farewell,
I checked Ielts results online today, the results are rather quite disappointing. The band which I always did well in the past 3 IELTS test have put me down. I scored 6.5 for Speaking, which I didn't see that was coming because I always got 7.5.
The writing band, however, was improved to the satisfactory 7.0, yet one band under 7.0 will let the whole thing down. This was the 4th time I took the IELTS test, wasting hundreds of dollars. I was a bit nervous in the speaking test room and didn't do the 2nd part of the test well... :(
So I guess I will have another go, taking into account all the experience I have accumulated.
So many things to do. I feel flooded.
Still waiting for my visa being granted, and I need to take a medical test somewhere in the near future. A NAATI test as well.
And the biggest thing for me in the next 2 weeks is to have oral surgery to remove my 2 wisdom teeth and 4 molar teeth.
... to get braces.
Farewell,
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Job hunting
Dear fellow soon-to-become-graduates friends,
The idea of being out of University and not having a full-time job isn't fun at all, especially when you're an international student.
So, keep studying, staying in Uni as long as you possibly can.
The idea of being out of University and not having a full-time job isn't fun at all, especially when you're an international student.
So, keep studying, staying in Uni as long as you possibly can.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Life
Life is full of options, why limiting yourself.
p/s: prank caller - I know exactly who you are, fuck off!
p/s: prank caller - I know exactly who you are, fuck off!
Monday, January 30, 2012
Boys are like chronic diseases
This thought popped up in my head just now, after my mom told me a shocked news happened at home last night.
My closest cousin has just got pregnant, with an intern at her work place, and according to my mom, he has been hitting on her since sometime in October last year.
Boys are like a disease, a virus ... After a 'boy' comes in contact with a woman body, it will leave her a tumor inside her belly. That tumor grows bigger and bigger day by day, and that tumor cannot be taken out until 9 months later. And if that 'tumor' is 'taken out', it doesn't mean the woman will recover from the 'disease'. Instead, she has to suffer the consequence for many years later, i.e. bringing up the child, sacrificing the youth, bear the burden of a mother, social and family criticism, just to name a few.
And it's kind of sad to know that my cousin is going and will have to go through all that, at such a young age.
I don't blame her, she's too innocent compared to her peers. Perhaps I should blame the way her parents educate their children: too conservative, just like other typical traditional families. Now I come to understand how important sex education is. They should revolutionise the way they teach biology in school in Vietnam.
For the boys, you may argue against it, as it requires 2 (or more?!?) people to ...
However, in my defence for the girls, girls are typically passive on her first sex experience, do not know exactly what is going on, and it's the boy that 'do' everything ...
I feel lucky that I am smart enough to stay away from the troubles. Just couldn't imagine if it happened to me. I might as well commit suicide.
shock, sigh (heavy breathe) ...
My closest cousin has just got pregnant, with an intern at her work place, and according to my mom, he has been hitting on her since sometime in October last year.
Boys are like a disease, a virus ... After a 'boy' comes in contact with a woman body, it will leave her a tumor inside her belly. That tumor grows bigger and bigger day by day, and that tumor cannot be taken out until 9 months later. And if that 'tumor' is 'taken out', it doesn't mean the woman will recover from the 'disease'. Instead, she has to suffer the consequence for many years later, i.e. bringing up the child, sacrificing the youth, bear the burden of a mother, social and family criticism, just to name a few.
And it's kind of sad to know that my cousin is going and will have to go through all that, at such a young age.
I don't blame her, she's too innocent compared to her peers. Perhaps I should blame the way her parents educate their children: too conservative, just like other typical traditional families. Now I come to understand how important sex education is. They should revolutionise the way they teach biology in school in Vietnam.
For the boys, you may argue against it, as it requires 2 (or more?!?) people to ...
However, in my defence for the girls, girls are typically passive on her first sex experience, do not know exactly what is going on, and it's the boy that 'do' everything ...
I feel lucky that I am smart enough to stay away from the troubles. Just couldn't imagine if it happened to me. I might as well commit suicide.
shock, sigh (heavy breathe) ...
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
I'm too stressed out
Waking up in the middle of the night, and my head is filled with worries, lots of worries. I know it's not a good sight for the beginning of a new year, but god, can't help it. So I decide to make a list
1) Job - I've been applying for 4 places so far, it hasn't been one week yet since the date I submitted my resume, but I already started worrying about them not contacting me, partly because I accidentally put the wrong contact number on my cover letter, and partly because I am not qualified, i.e., not PR, and not 1 or 2 year exp.
2) ECC - to be honest, I hate going back to that place. A volunteer job which pays me $20/day isn't worth. It's kind of worth for some experience to put in my resume, but other than that, the responsibility is so heavy. Not to mention there's no training or supervision. I've been back to Perth since the 4th of Jan, but I have been making excuses to myself not to be present at ECC office. This worsen the feeling inside my head, I wish I could had gone there earlier, so that there would be less work done. Well, I want to quit that role so much, but something inside my head tells me that I have responsibility with that job. Gosh, I think I have made quite a mess there. God! I think I'll make an appearance there no sooner or later, if I want to quit.
3) Driving licence - failing the test twice discourages me. All the money spent on driving lessons and booking the test went wasted, I gotta take advantage of this free time to retake the test. Wish me luck!
4) Dental appointment - I wish I had started going to the dentist earlier, so that I would have had nice straight teeth by now. The delay keeps going on and on. Appearance is important as it enhances your confidence. Now I've got cosmetic surgery for my eyes, though I am not totally happy with it, coz one eye seems to be smaller than the other, plus my crooked teeth, make me feel like I am the ugliest bitch in the world. sigh, can't help.
If no places offer me a job within the next 6 months, I guess I gotta apply for NAVITAS course, which cost me another ~$14000.
Well, here is the list of things I need to do within next week:
1) Make an appearance at ECC :(
2) Book for general cleaning at a dentist
3) Call an orthodontist
4) Book driving test
5) Call George - arrange driving lesson
6) Buy a calendar notebook
Well, everything seems a bit clearer when they are in the list.
Maybe in the middle of this year, I might move house, or should I wait till I buy a car? This apartment I am living now is TERRIBLE, literally, damn the person who designed and built it. It is a huge oven in summer.
Alrighty, time to bed.
1) Job - I've been applying for 4 places so far, it hasn't been one week yet since the date I submitted my resume, but I already started worrying about them not contacting me, partly because I accidentally put the wrong contact number on my cover letter, and partly because I am not qualified, i.e., not PR, and not 1 or 2 year exp.
2) ECC - to be honest, I hate going back to that place. A volunteer job which pays me $20/day isn't worth. It's kind of worth for some experience to put in my resume, but other than that, the responsibility is so heavy. Not to mention there's no training or supervision. I've been back to Perth since the 4th of Jan, but I have been making excuses to myself not to be present at ECC office. This worsen the feeling inside my head, I wish I could had gone there earlier, so that there would be less work done. Well, I want to quit that role so much, but something inside my head tells me that I have responsibility with that job. Gosh, I think I have made quite a mess there. God! I think I'll make an appearance there no sooner or later, if I want to quit.
3) Driving licence - failing the test twice discourages me. All the money spent on driving lessons and booking the test went wasted, I gotta take advantage of this free time to retake the test. Wish me luck!
4) Dental appointment - I wish I had started going to the dentist earlier, so that I would have had nice straight teeth by now. The delay keeps going on and on. Appearance is important as it enhances your confidence. Now I've got cosmetic surgery for my eyes, though I am not totally happy with it, coz one eye seems to be smaller than the other, plus my crooked teeth, make me feel like I am the ugliest bitch in the world. sigh, can't help.
If no places offer me a job within the next 6 months, I guess I gotta apply for NAVITAS course, which cost me another ~$14000.
Well, here is the list of things I need to do within next week:
1) Make an appearance at ECC :(
2) Book for general cleaning at a dentist
3) Call an orthodontist
4) Book driving test
5) Call George - arrange driving lesson
6) Buy a calendar notebook
Well, everything seems a bit clearer when they are in the list.
Maybe in the middle of this year, I might move house, or should I wait till I buy a car? This apartment I am living now is TERRIBLE, literally, damn the person who designed and built it. It is a huge oven in summer.
Alrighty, time to bed.
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